dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
