just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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