I think im going to throw up on grandma
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
