thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize