OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
