I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
