508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
