I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
