i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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