He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
