Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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