apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
