Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
