all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
