that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
