we're blogging at a bar
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
