do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
