dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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