Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
