when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
