I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
