Don't you send me to vm
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
