I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
