and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
