How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize