I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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