Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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