ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
