when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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