Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
