Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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