You just made me feel so damn special
Sponge bath it is.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
