At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
