Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
