Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
