Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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