I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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