it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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