This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
