My room smells like vodka and shame
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
