He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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