and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
