We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
