No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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