my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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