dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize