I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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