dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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