There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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