and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
