I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
