No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
