You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Panties = found
Randomize
