My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
