Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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